In the early morning on Tuesday, January 4th, my grandfather went to be with the Lord. We remembered and celebrated his life in a funeral service at Norton Funeral Home in Hartsville, South Carolina on Saturday, January 8th. All three of Pop's sons shared their remembrances of him. These are my Dad's words:
Bennie Harding, Mr. Bennie, Mr. Harding, Bennie, Ben, Uncle Bennie, Dad, Daddy, Pop, Poppy. All these were names used for the man born Benjamin Lucas Harding. Surprisingly almost none of us knew his birth certificate name, which may in part tell us something about our dad. He was never flashy, formal, flamboyant, or brash. Rather he was humble and unassuming. A common sense man, with wisdom and insight beyond anyone’s education, yet he was the biggest advocate for getting education. Our dad was a man of pride, as it relates to duty and responsibility, but he did not outwardly display pride, rather he used it to drive himself toward personal goals, building family values, increasing his faith, and helping others.
You cannot truly know Bennie without understanding the events which shaped his life.
Both his parents died before his eighth birthday, and Mr. Carl Crowley took him in. This would have been about 1930 at the height of the Great Depression. Dad gave up school during the fourth grade in favor of completing the farm tasks needed for survival.
When WWII began he immediately joined the Army. If you spent any time with him you likely heard him recounting combat experiences, including landing on the beach in France, building bridges as part of the 165th Combat Engineering Battalion, being in the presence of his favorite general, George S. Patton. He may have told you about his rather casual chat with General Dwight Eisenhower, or if you probed, you may know he was among the first soldiers to open the gates of Dachau to free those in that concentration camp. In my mind he was a hero, enduring the Depression and WWII, but he would see it as just “doing what needed to be done.” Tom Brokaw wrote about people like Bennie in his book, The Greatest Generation. Mr. Brokaw recalls how so many of this generation put duty ahead of self interests, and Bennie was certainly the same way.
After the war Bennie met and married his life partner, our Mom, Carolyn. They are just short of their 64th year of marriage. With the birth of Ben, Ronnie, Brenda, and Allen, Dad’s near obsession was to ensure that education was not neglected and that the boys earned a college degree. He worked rotating shifts at Dupont and farmed as well. By today’s standard you could say he had two full time occupations. To some of us it seemed he could work day and night as necessary. He was deeply involved in church and set an expectation for all of us to be in church at every opportunity. I remember his long prayers, which always started with “Kind Heavenly Father.” He often reminded me that he prayed for me daily as a young adult. I can’t tell you how often the knowledge of Dad and Mom praying for me daily gave me strength. Just this month as Dad lay in a nursing home and his mental capabilities diminished, he was always willing to pray and on occasion continued to pray for 30 to 60 minutes.
Dad never missed an opportunity to encourage all of us to strive for the best in our lives. Sometimes we jokingly called these sermons. The grandkids often heard these sermons and life messages over and over, but they also saw them in the way he lived. Here are a few of their accounts and remembrances:
Sybil remembers failing her driving test because of parallel parking. Pop went and got measurements for the parking space and painted lines on the road. They practiced and practiced in Pop’s truck (even though it did not have power steering). She also remembers his patience to teach her an important skill.
While Jackie was in elementary school Pop asked her to bring him her spelling list. They would sit in the kitchen and Jackie would teach him to pronounce and spell the words. These informal educational experiences were influential in Jackie choosing to become an English teacher, and show Pop’s burning desire to seek education for himself and those around him.
Richie recalls that Pop took time to teach him marksmanship, diving (although I doubt Pop demonstrated) and of course how to drive a tractor.
Rebecca remembers three main topics for Pop’s ongoing lessons: God, WWII, and Dupont, with an occasional story about working hard in the fields. She recalls when in the second grade he told her that he had quit school in the 4th grade. She couldn’t imagine only going to school two more years and still doing well enough to raise a family, own property and send three boys to college. This taught her that no hurdle is insurmountable. Rebecca added that a strong work ethic was important to Pop and was something he tried to pass to the next generation. Even recently in the nursing home he kept asking her for his clothes so that he could dress for work.
Ronda said that Pop taught her to drive the tractor and let her run it all over his yard. She added that one of Pop’s central messages was education, education, and education. He also taught her that faith in Christ doesn’t mean being perfect. Pop was always ready to discuss spiritual matters.
Jamie listened to all Pop’s war stories and admired how he had met General Patton and Eisenhower. He would often ask whether she had read Proverbs which would inevitably lead to the sermon about reading the whole Bible. Jamie remembers that Pop did not limit these messages to grandchildren but even asked her boyfriend if he had read Proverbs.
Justin remembers four key messages from Pop:
1. Read the Bible, especially Proverbs.
2. Take care of what you have.
3. Save your money.
4. Get your education.
Nick added that in addition to all the messages already mentioned, Pop has left on him the lasting impression of selfless sacrifice. Pop was willing to sacrifice time and money for his family and for others
Thank you for joining us here to celebrate our dad’s life and his lasting influence.
Ron J Harding
