This blog is called "A Little R&R," and I knew one day that name would be even more fitting when we actually had a little one running around. And that day has finally arrived. Here is the first story about our family's new addition.
I’ve noticed in recent years that my memory isn’t what it
used to be. My sister tells
stories of our childhood, and I honestly can’t remember most of what she
recounts. So in an effort to
remember Cathryn’s birth, I’m sharing the story. I’ve labeled the different parts with subtitles since it’s
LONG.
FINDING OUT THE NEWS
July of 2012 was incredibly busy. We were putting on an
intense two-week training program for new teachers at YES Prep, and I was at
work pretty late most nights.
Though we had been trying since May to get pregnant, we didn’t think
July was going to be our month.
In August my mom came to visit, and I just kept thinking I
must be getting sick because I was so tired. Two days after she left I thought I should take a pregnancy
test because my period was a little late and in some other ways I was just
feeling different. I made Reid go
read the stick because I was just too excited and also a little scared to do
it. It told us we were indeed
pregnant. We waited another two
days and took the test again just to make sure it was a real positive. The “plus” sign indicating pregnancy
came up almost immediately. We
didn’t even have to wait the full two minutes.
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| Picture from Mom's visit. I was pregnant, but we didn't know it! |
We shared the exciting news with our families over
Skype. They were excited to say
the least! In the first trimester my mom was already sending boxes of gifts for
baby!
As soon as we found out, I began researching health care
providers. Since I’ve been into
the real food movement for the past several years, I’ve come across a lot info
about natural birth. I decided I
wanted to try it. In Houston there
are 6 free-standing birth centers that are designed for those interested in
un-medicated, intervention free labor.
I researched a few online and made a call to the one I liked. We went there at what we thought was 10
weeks for a tour. Two weeks later
we had the “confirmation visit” where they do an ultrasound to confirm that you
are in fact pregnant. We got to
hear the heartbeat for the first time and see the baby. The midwives were very excited because
usually people unsure of the conception date end up coming in when they are
only 6-8 weeks pregnant, and there’s not much to see. But our baby was measuring 12 weeks and they loved to see
our “big” baby. We watched excitedly and could even see her stick her hand up
to her mouth to suck her thumb perhaps.
THE FIRST TRIMESTER
The first trimester was accompanied by terrible nausea. It wasn’t just morning sickness; it was
afternoon and evening sickness.
Reid likes to eat bacon for breakfast, and I just could not tolerate the
smell. He would have to close the door to the bedroom and turn on the fan over
the stove. I drank grapefruit Izze
drinks as soon as I woke up in the morning to help settle things, but it was
difficult for a while (later Jamie would joke that we should name our baby Izzy
because she was half made up of that drink!). There was a two-week period where
all I could eat or wanted to eat was Chic-fil-a.
I announced my
pregnancy to my co-workers at one of our Saturday events. I told them we were bringing a new
member onto the team (we were hiring at the time), and them I held up the
ultrasound photo. It was nice to
share with them as they were very excited, and well, it helped explain my
constant sickness.
I started to feel the baby around 17 or 18 weeks. It felt like little flutter or bubbles,
almost like the movement of your intestines as it’s digesting. Even now that I’m not pregnant, I
sometimes feel my stomach or intestines moving and for split second I forget
I’m not pregnant. I remember the
first time I could tell I was touching the baby’s foot. Baby’s little heel was right up in my
ribs. I got teary eyed in the
moment. It felt so real that baby was
coming soon.
THE SECOND TRIMESTER
At 20 weeks, just before we left for North Carolina for
Christmas, we had the diagnostic ultrasound and found out we were having a
girl. While I was happy with
whatever gender it would be, I have to admit I was hoping for pink!
In late January, we found out our birth center was closing
and they would not be able to accommodate our birth. I was really bummed because I liked that birth center
because the midwives had privileges in the nearby hospital, and I wasn’t
comfortable at the time with what might happen if I got transported and had a
doctor I didn’t know.
I signed up for a birth class we were taking with some
friends, and the teacher recommended Katy Birth Center. I went to their “Meet the Midwives”
event and one midwife had an opening for May. I signed up immediately. I was drawn to them because they really took a holistic
approach to birth. They emphasized
herbs and nutrition as a part of your care. Honestly, one of the things that most attracted me was that
they did the 28-week glucose test with grape juice instead of making you drink
that artificially flavored and colored glucose drink. I thought it was great that they provided that alternative. At
my first appointment with Melissa Bates, I knew I had a made a good
decision. She had me recording
what I ate and drank each day and ensured I was keeping up with prenatal
vitamins and some other supplements like Vitamin D and DHA. I could tell she wanted to get to know
me and my desires for our baby’s birth.
With her I really felt comfortable deciding to do a home birth instead
of a birth center birth. She
helped me to believe I really could do it. I figured if she didn’t mind coming to me, then I might as
well labor at home. So we decided
to have a baby in our living room!
THE THIRD TRIMESTER
The nausea began to get better at 22 weeks, but I still had
random bouts of sickness all the way through pregnancy. I really felt great in my third trimester. I only gained a few pounds in the last
months. Most of my weight gain
happened early on when I was so sick and only wanted to eat carbs. The only pain I had in the last weeks
was a little hip pain from the widening.
Even up to the day she was born, I never wished that the pregnancy was
over. I was really starting to
enjoy it.
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| This was thirty-something weeks along. Feeling good! |
On May 2nd, my sister came to town hoping to be
able to be there for the birth.
She was leaving on the 7th, and even though the baby’s due
date was the 3rd nobody thought she would be here in time.
EARLY LABOR
I woke up the morning of the 3rd after a full
night of long and ongoing Braxton Hicks contractions. I went to the bathroom and when I came back I just felt like
something needed to happen, like I could change things if I got in a different
position. So I got on my hands and
knees and rocked back and forth for a while. When I got back in bed I immediately felt a change in the
contraction pattern. At 6:30 AM I
got up to go to the bathroom, and when I lay back down I felt a little
pop. My water broke. I ran to the bathroom, and from there
yelled loudly, “my water broke.” No
one answered, not Reid from the bedroom or Jamie from the couch. I yelled
again, “my water broke. Does ANYBODY care?!” Jamie called back “Ronda? Did you just say your water
broke?” She said she thought she was dreaming. We all knew none of us were
going back to sleep. I couldn’t
believe it was happening, but I was going to have a baby.
So we texted Melissa to let her know, and she told me to
take a shower and really do whatever I wanted. She said since labor hadn’t started we had a little while to
relax and then we’d have to do some work to get thing going. The next few hours
were a funny sight. Because my water broke, Jamie and Reid were following me
around with towels. We tried to go out for a walk, but that really didn’t work
either. Oddly it was a 55 degree
day here in Houston, and so I was freezing out there, but thankful it wasn’t
unbearable heat we’re so used to.
I started to have contractions that morning, but they
weren’t really accomplishing anything.
Melissa came over around midday, and encouraged me to eat. I wasn’t really interested but I knew I
would need to energy later, so we had some Chipotle. Contractions were uncomfortable, and though I had done some
relaxation training, it was hard to relax through them. Melissa recommended I take a nap to
rest up for the more intense labor to come. She and Jamie rubbed my feet, and according to them I did
fall asleep, but I just remember being distracted by contractions. J
After the nap, Melissa checked and I was 3 cm. I was really encouraged by this because
I really though the contractions weren’t doing much and I was going to be less
dilated. Even still, it was time
to really get active labor going.
ACTIVE LABOR
Melissa set up the birth ball and the breast pump. I sat on the birth ball rolling my hips
in a circle for one hour while I pumped both breasts. Oh man, did that start some contractions! I remember
squeezing my toes into the carpet for each one. Melissa, Jamie and Reid were great. They encouraged me so much. My favorite position was putting my
arms around Reid’s neck and just hanging during the contraction while he held
me up.
To encourage contractions further, Melissa had me sit on the
toilet through three contractions. This was the worst of all pain. Ha! I
remember telling Melissa early on in our visits that I wanted to do whatever
she suggested would really move labor along. In my birth class, we heard that many women pull away from
the very positions that would bring their baby sooner. But on the last of my
toilet-sitting contractions, I said “I don’t know what to do” and started to
wimper. Melissa quoted Scripture
to me and encouraged me again. I
kept going.
At some point, maybe around 5 or 6 PM, I was 5 cm. We did some more positions, including
working with the rebozo on all fours.
During a contraction, I
would lean forward on all fours until my leg swere straight and my head was up
high. Then I would lean back until
my arms were straight and I had my rear end back over my legs. This was also
painful, but it also kept things going strong. The rebozo made sure the baby was in good position, and the
back and forth stretching really applied the baby’s head to the cervix.
Around this time, they began filling up the birth pool in
the living room. I couldn’t wait
to get in! I had heard so much about how it can really help contractions, and
it didn’t disappoint. It was nice
to have the water hold me up, and although contractions continued to get more
intense it felt great to be free of some of the pull of gravity.
TRANSITION
After an hour or so in the pool, the contractions got really
intense. I groaned through one of
them, and that’s when I just thought I couldn’t do it any more. I told Melissa, “I want to go to the
hospital. I can’t do it anymore. I want to go.”
She reminded me that my hard work was going to bring my baby
into the world. Then she checked
me and I was 8 cm….transition! Melissa told me early in our visits that when a
mother says she can’t do it anymore that it’s like music to her ears. It means
she’s going into transition and the baby won’t be long.
Since I was in transition, she told me to reach down, and I
could feel baby’s head. I got a
rush of excitement and encouragement that she would be her soon! At that point
I knew I could do it. Not long after,
I started to feel pushy. I was
still at 9 cm, with just a small lip left before ten. I did two contractions on my left side and pushed on the
third. At that point I was 10 cm,
and time for baby to arrive soon.
PUSHING
Pushing was so different than I thought. It was like this power came over me,
and my body just took over. Reid
said I was groaning so loud that the neighbors had to hear it. I couldn’t help it. It kind of scared me how out of control
I felt. I wasn’t really in pain
anymore, but I was scared of each contraction because I just thought the power
of it all was going to tear right through me. Melissa reminded me about how to center the energy down to
get the baby out. Reid was holding
me up in the pool and Jamie was operating the camera.
Melissa told me that a lot of first time moms push for 2
hours and sometimes more. I
couldn’t imagine that, but I was ready for the long haul. With the first push baby’s head was
visible and I could feel her hair.
Not too long after, baby’s head was halfway out (ouch!). Jamie and Reid could see her. She crowned at 7:57 PM. At that point, I pushed again, but
baby’s body wasn’t coming. Melissa
had me move to a squatting position.
I pushed again. Melissa saw
that baby had her hand up by her face, and once she moved it out of the way,
one more push and baby came out. I
didn’t really feel that she was out, but Melissa told me to sit back, and all
of the sudden she was there on my chest, her eyes wide open. It was 8:05 PM.
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| So happy! |
Jamie, Reid, and I were all crying. It was so surreal. I couldn’t believe she had just come
out of my body and this little person was here looking at me. From start to finish, pushing took 22
minutes and our baby was in my arms.
 |
We sat in the tub just spending time together and ooh-ing
and ahh-ing over her. She had a
ton of hair. She made little whimpers
but didn’t cry. Melissa did her
first check on while we were still in the tub. This was such a special time.
AFTER THE BIRTH
The rest of the night was a whirlwind. My placenta was retained for 20 min (5
minutes more and it would have been a transport to the hospital). I had some tearing due to baby’s hand
up by her face, so we were dealing with that too. The midwives - Connie, another midwife from Katy BC had come
to attend the birth too - were so supportive and helpful. Connie helped me get started with
breastfeeding; they made sure I ate, and they even made up a healing herbal
bath for us. They did the
assessment on the baby and she weighed in at 8 lbs. 1.5 oz and 20.5 inches. They
called in another midwife, Natalie, to help do my repair, and after the bath they
tucked us in for the night.
 | |
| Hanging out after getting out of the tub. We kept each other warm! |
The next day Melissa did a 24-hour post-partum visit. Both baby
and I were doing fine. At that
point we had decided on a name.
The naming process had been rocky.
We wanted a family name, and had it narrowed down to two. We decided on Cathryn Victoria to honor
my mom, Cathy, and Reid’s mom, Vicki.
I really couldn’t have asked for a better birth
experience. Melissa was so
confident and knowledgeable about how to get things moving and how to help me
throughout. Active labor started at 3:30-ish and I had a baby by 8:05 PM. That is so fast! I really was not
expecting it. I will never birth
any other place. Home with a
midwife and my family is the best. I’m blessed to have had such a wonderful
experience bringing Cathryn into the world!
Since that time I really feel like the transition to
motherhood has been so much fun. Cathryn took to breastfeeding like a pro. Jamie was a life-saver the first few days after the birth, and both she and Cathryn were enamored with each other from the start. My mom and Dad came to visit on the 10th and stayed for five wonderful days. They helped us rearrange the house and clean everything. Grammy had been waiting so long for her first grandbaby, and she spent lots of time with her namesake, Cathryn. She gave her her first bath and lots of cuddles. Papa sang her his special lullaby, "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr." Ha! It was so special to have my Mom there to celebrate mother's day on the 12th. Three generations of us girls.
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| Grammy, Daughter, and Granddaughter |
At almost three months, Cathryn is such a happy baby and cute too (even though I’m
biased!). On May 22nd I
lost my mom, so Cathryn is one special gift that reminds me of her, Grammy
Cathy, everyday.
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| Their first special meeting. Grammy had been waiting a long time. |
